Monday, August 5, 2013

Shark Week, Schmark Schmeek

Happy Shark Week. I look forward to seeing sharks tear shit UP every year but when the week is over, I realize that the programming is always kind of sucky. And right now I am typing through this god-awful-insult-to-everyone's-intelligence-make-it-stop-"documentary," Megalodon, and brainstorming what the History Channel should have as their own special annual week of something.

1. The obvioust of obvious: History Movie Week
For the entire week, play the best of the best Historical (fiction) films. And switch it up every year. People will come back for more. I would. Is there ever a time Titanic plays on basic cable and I don't watch it? No. I already curated the films for the first annual History Channel History Movie Week. In no particular order. The King's Speech, The Pianist, Hotel Rwanda, Braveheart, Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, 300, W/E (give this a chance), Gladiator, Zero Dark Thirty, Argo, Full Metal Jacket, Les Miserables (2012 give this a chance too), Titanic, Marie Antoinette (2006), Milk, Pocahontas and Jesus Christ Superstar.

2. What the people really want: Hunger Games Featuring Reenactors Week
A week of a Hunger Games-style competition where the competitors have to be reenactors. They have to be dressed up and they have to only use weapons/armor that they would have in history (Henry VIII can only behead people, Marie Antoinette can only throw cake at get it).

And that's all I got.

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